I spent a good chunk of my life on a “healing journey.” Retreats, workshops, books, people who knew exactly what was wrong with me. Some of it helped. Most of it just kept me looking for the next thing.

At some point I had to ask: am I actually healing, or am I just stuck believing there’s always something wrong with me?

The healing journey that never ends

Here’s what nobody in that world says out loud. A lot of it is a business. Retreats, classes, gurus. Some help. But a lot of it keeps you chasing, because if you believe you’re broken, you’ll keep paying for the next fix.

Chapter 15 of You Are Not You is called Stop Renting Your Own Power, and this is exactly what it’s about. You weren’t failing at healing. You were sold experiences instead of tools.

You’re not broken

You’re not a puzzle to solve. You’re not a project. You’ve been through a lot, and it left marks. That’s not the same thing as being broken.

The wellness world calls everything trauma now. Every wound gets a label and a treatment plan. But a wound isn’t a life sentence. Treat yourself like a permanent patient long enough and your subconscious will make it true.

Integrate, don’t chase

It’s not about healing forever. It’s about learning to live with the scars, owning them, and letting them become part of the story instead of the whole story. Transmute them. Carry them. Keep moving.

How to get off the healing treadmill

1. Notice the assumption

Listen to how you talk about yourself. “I’m still working on my stuff.” “I’m not ready yet.” “I have to heal first.” Each one is an order that says not yet.

2. Watch out for the saviors

Anyone who needs you broken so they can keep fixing you isn’t helping you. A real tool is something you can take home and run yourself.

3. Run the practice yourself

Twenty minutes a day. Breath, scripts, living in the end. No retreat required. Here’s the protocol.

4. Get real help when you need it

To be clear: if you’re dealing with something serious, a good therapist or doctor is not a guru. Get the help. The trap isn’t getting support. It’s building your whole identity around being unhealed.

The point

You don’t need to be healed. You just have to remember who you are underneath all the noise.

Related: healing the inner child and why self-improvement is BS.